Originally published on my old blog on July 3, 2017.
One of the most frustrating things about being a female is the ever-changing beauty standards.
When I was young, I watched Disney princess movies and played with Barbies. The female characters in front of me shared the same qualities: small waists, flat stomachs, long legs, and skinny arms. In addition, mannequins in clothing stores have always had those same features. So, growing up, I believed those physical features were the norm. They seemed to be the marks of a beautiful woman.
I was also exposed to the tv show “America’s Next Top Model” at a very young age and wondered, “Is that what women are supposed to look like?” The ladies on the show were your stereotypical model: tall and—I’m sorry to say—almost skeletal. They were being praised and photographed in little to no clothing.
It was impossible for me to escape the image that was (at least back then) the “ideal” body.
At some point during my young teenage years though, a stronger emphasis on muscle definition and weight lifting showed up in the media. Today fitness is even more focussed on achieving a toned body. It’s now many girls’ dream to perfect our muscles and limbs.
Embarrassingly, the other day I caught myself thinking this way. I was at a red light in my car, and out the window I saw a woman jogging. She had a long line of definition going down her leg. While sitting there, I thought, “Wow, I wish I looked like that when I run. That’s some nice leg definition. Dang, I have a lot of work to do…”
But then I stopped myself and thought, “Wait—WHAT AM I THINKING?!”
A line on my leg? A line?? Who says a line of muscle definition is a mark of beauty?!
Sadly, our culture does.
Through media, culture tells us to be thin—but also be muscular. But not too muscular. Be toned. And have a thigh gap. But wait—now curves are in. Now having a big butt or wide hips is attractive. But not too wide. Remember, we’re supposed to be skinny.
Do you see the issue here? We can’t ever achieve the perfect body, because the cultural idea of what is beautiful is ever-changing. And the image of a beautiful or perfect body is perceived differently from person to person.
For example, some people say that “natural beauty”– less makeup – is better. While some people are avid makeup wearers who devote lots of time to it. Or even yesterday I was surprised to hear a guy say that “super skinny arms were not attractive” to him.
Like I mentioned, skinny, tall, and straight used to be the “ideals,” but now more people are talking like curvy hips, thighs, and butts are a thing to be desired. Meghan Trainor’s song came out a while ago, proclaiming that “boys like a little more booty to hold.” Suddenly, a woman’s curves are like a trophy.
So obviously, we have varying opinions on what is visually pleasing. That’s why it’s so important to simply embrace who you are and the genetics you’ve been given!
We all have special genetics that make us look the way we do. Our natural, healthy body (without hours at the gym to tweak it) may not be what we desire or what the present cultural ideal is. But our composition is unique to each of us and depends on our family tree (your close relatives can give you a clue as to where your extra weight may be carried and how you are proportioned). If we try to fight our own genetics, we’re going to be miserable. If we compare ourselves to people who are from super different looking families, we’re only doing ourselves a disservice.
If I waited around forever to have a flat stomach and skinny arms, I’d be waiting till I die. Those things just aren’t natural for me. Even in my eating disorder, I wasn’t really able to achieve the thin arms I wanted. But I’m learning to accept this!
So maybe you have wider hips. Maybe you’re naturally tall and thin. Maybe you have a short torso and a tummy that rolls over your waistline. Maybe you have small arms and thicker thighs. No matter what you’ve got, you are beautiful because you’re a human with your own unique features.
There will probably never be a consensus about what is most physically attractive and desirable. So will you join me in embracing your own unique body? Let’s stop exhausting ourselves by running after a moving target of what culture decides is a perfect body.
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